Archive for 2008
« Previous Entries11/18 - “Props to late night hosts and their animal guests”
Tuesday, November 18th, 2008Carson, Letterman, and I’m sure a whole “host” (I couldn’t resist) of others have all had wild animals on as guests from time to time. Ranging from birds, to reptiles, to monkeys and wildcats, all of these creatures of nature had the option and opportunity to poop in/on a place normally reserved for Tom Cruise, or another A-List […]
11/17 - “Consequences for slow service”
Monday, November 17th, 2008I can try to avoid being too cliché by criticizing the lack of overall quality pizza and general slow food service in LA, but I figured out a way to get back at a local pizza place that has incredibly slow service.
During halftime of last Sunday’s Redskins/Cowboys game, me and a friend were waiting […]
11/16 - “Friend Power Rankings”
Sunday, November 16th, 2008Many sports websites like ESPN.com have a weekly feature in which they rank all NFL teams from 1 to 32. They indicate what each teams’ ranking was the previous week, and attach a sentence or two explaining why a team has either moved up, or down in the rankings.
For example:
#7 (last week #12)
New England Patriots […]
11/15 - “Another racist joke/Obama knows Bo”
Saturday, November 15th, 2008Me: Obama has a pretty nice jump shot.
Dave Wheeler: Yeah, he should try out for the NBA, and be like Bo Jackson…the last black person to have 2 jobs.
11/14 - “Black joke of the day”
Friday, November 14th, 2008Dave Wheeler: The Mets don’t sign black players.
Me: If the Mets don’t sign black players, why’d they put all those colored bathrooms in the clubhouse?
11/13 - “Idea for reality/game show”
Thursday, November 13th, 2008Celebrities fart from behind a curtain. Contestants have to guess who’s fart it is based on the odor.
“Hmmm. Smells like broccoli. I think I’ve heard that Jennifer Aniston’s a vegan, is it hers?
“Correct! You’ve made it to the lightning round!” (whatever that would consist of)
11/12 - “Coffee from everywhere”
Wednesday, November 12th, 2008Earlier today I made a pot of coffee at work, and looked closely at the packaging and the wording on it.
It was “French Roast Costa Rican Seattle Mountain Coffee, 100% Arabica.”
Where’d it really come from? Costco, lol.
11/11 - “Vote ignorantly for our Veterans”
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008Last week when I voted on Election Day, the California ballot had a bunch of measures. Many of them required me to make a decision as a citizen whether or not I was willing to have the government spend money on certain programs. Admittedly, while I did do some research before stepping into the booth, […]
11/10 - “Sensible rules and regulations for endzone celebrations”
Monday, November 10th, 2008Endzones celebrations are part of the game, and if players want to express their joy for the game, let them. If the other team doesn’t like it, they can just hit harder and play harder, and most importantly not allow so many touchdowns.
I think it oughta come down to the team’s rights. Why should the […]
11/9 - “Power of the buddy icon”
Sunday, November 9th, 2008For the most part I would never trust a politician. None. Never. Maybe this isn’t an entirely healthy attitude. Perhaps I should take into consideration that I don’t recall ever having met a politician, let alone having known one well.
Although yes, I did vote for Barack Obama, I never attended a rally, wore a t-shirt, or even […]
11/8 - “Interracial step sibling dating”
Saturday, November 8th, 2008Recently I saw a reality TV show that featured a rather large Brady Bunch-esque family. The mother and father both contributed their own kids to this new marriage. Both parents were white, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume that the cute Asian girl in the family was adopted.
It’s probably never a […]
11/7 - “Guilty pleasures”
Friday, November 7th, 2008I have mixed feelings about what defines a guily pleasure, and if such a concept really exists. Experiencing pleasure is a good thing, while feeling guilty about it is not. In this case, the pleasure typically comes first, then somehow you suffer for it later. A good example is fast food.
Listening to music (from the 1980’s) is not […]
11/5 - “The President and his nipples”
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008Our society is cool with topless men (society = a public pool). It’s just that we as a public don’t really ever need to see the President without his shirt on. It doesn’t matter if it’s Clinton, a Bush, Washington, or even Obama for that matter. Whether a President is fit or not isn’t even […]
11/4 - “Bozzz on sex and the voting process”
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008While I was waiting on the line to vote, I was texting Bozzz, and mentioned how some of girls there voting were deece. In fact, I was considering just hanging out outside the voting place all day. This way I could really find out just how many hot girls live in my neighborhood. PURE […]
11/3 - “Smoking, atmosphere, and people I wish didn’t exist”
Monday, November 3rd, 2008I smoke about 4 cigarettes a year. The smell of cigarettes sometimes bothers me, but usually not. Even though these carcinogens were probably created in Satan’s labratory, something about the odor makes for good atmosphere. To me, I don’t even think it has much to do with all these smoking bans being hyped up within […]
11/2 - “Offensive costume procedures, part II”
Sunday, November 2nd, 2008Over the weekend I attended a Halloween party that consisted of a good amount of Mexican-Americans.
Wikipedia says - ” Cholo is used for a person of Mexican background who wishes to present a tough, sometimes even gangster-like image.” I could see how the word Cholo could possibly be similar to the word nigger. Not exactly, but […]
11/1 - “Offensive costume procedures, part I”
Saturday, November 1st, 2008During “Halloween season,” I’m always curious as I observe what are the popular costumes for that particular year. In past years, Borat was a big one, whereas this year, I think remember coming across several Sarah Palin look-a-likes.
However, I don’t recall seeing that many Barack Obama costumes, if any at all. One Obama simply had […]
10/31 - “That’s it, I’m voting for George W. Bush again”
Friday, October 31st, 2008Gas prices have suddenly gone down to a somewhat tolerable and respectable price. Even the 91 shit, which I never get, has fallen below $3 a gallon at many stations in the LA area.
So, with gas prices going down, let’s all do the sensible and logical thing on Tuesday —- vote for George Bush again!
JUST […]
10/30 - “Per gallon”
Thursday, October 30th, 2008This post probably would’ve been better off being written several months ago, but remember when several media outlets were talking about the price of milk versus the price of gas?
“Milk costs even more per gallon than gas now!” That’s what some rather intrigued individuals were exclaiming.
Who gives a shit? It’s apple and oranges — unless […]
10/29 - “Aww-worthy”
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008At work, at our weekly meetings we watch episodes of House Hunters together. Every time there is a quick image of a dog or puppy on the screen, the majority of my co-workers go, “awwwwwwww.” Like I said, it doesn’t matter if it’s a dog or puppy, canines always get the awwwwwww.
On the flip-side, nobody […]
10/28 - “Baked Cheetos!”
Tuesday, October 28th, 2008No idea if any of you peoples out there have tried ‘em, but if not, I highly recommend Baked Cheetos. Here’s the deal — Baked Lays we all know are fucking useless shit-tasting pieces of cardboard (compared to Original Lays potato chips).
However, regular Cheetos and Baked Cheetos are impressively similar in taste. In fact, I’m […]
10/27 - “Another Bozzz convo I just find”
Monday, October 27th, 2008Me: I eat cheese pizza and the read sports section of the LA times, and think about u.
Bozzz: Think about mealways.
Me: mealways?
Bozzz: meal ways
Me: Wtf are meal ways? Wtf is u talkin bout? You fugnut.
Bozzz: ME ALWAYS
Me: LOL
10/26 - “Ice cream man playlist”
Sunday, October 26th, 2008Jesus Christ, if you’re going to park your truck next to the baseball field for 3 hours, and are going to play a jingle, at least switch it up every so often. Why hasn’t ice cream truck technology seemed to evolve? Why do they play the same fucking jingles that were used in 1964? MAKE […]
10/25 - “Always leave the movies satisfied”
Saturday, October 25th, 2008With prices for movie tickets ridiculously high these days, after seeing something in the theater, your friend will often ask you, “How was the movie? Did you get your money’s worth?”
I asked Mike D. (‘Cuse Mike D. not baseball Mike D. or Beastie Boys Mike D.) if he had plans to see that “Role Models” […]
10/23 - “Maybe he didn’t know!”
Thursday, October 23rd, 2008According to Wikipedia, Ray Charles was married twice and fathered 12 children by 7 different women. Not a bad run at all. Some people might find those numbers staggering and perhaps even offensive — and irresponsible of Charles.
Not me. For one thing, promiscuity is almost as much part of the music business as the music […]