Archive for 2008
« Previous Entries Next Entries »11/30 - “Cooking shows are not pornographic to fat people”
Sunday, November 30th, 2008First of all, I hate cooking shows and find them ridiculously boring. The only cooking shows I can tolerate are those in which there is some sort of competition. In these cases, at least there’s some drama that could provide some intrigue.
There are 2 main (obvious) reasons why cooking shows are so uneventful to me. […]
11/29 - “Serving 18 year olds alcohol: a minor problem?”
Saturday, November 29th, 2008Try to stay with me here — I pretty much will give anybody of any age (some) alcohol. Yes, I will give a 10 year old a drink, under one condition. That condition is that I am there to supervise it’s consumption.
There’s absolutely no reason why 18 year olds should not be allowed to purchase […]
11/28 - “Five star one star reviews”
Friday, November 28th, 2008For me, I like to read reviews of movies or albums after I see or hear them. That’s just how I operate. Often I’ll glance at reviews on Amazon.com, and often I’ll glance at user reviews too. However, there are some rules that I have.
I will not look at any review that is less than […]
11/27 - “Befores & afters”
Thursday, November 27th, 2008It’s the most common element in an advertisement for any type of weight-loss product — The before and after shots. Correct me if I’m off base, but I feel like 5-10+ years ago the before shots (in these print, or TV ads) were always well, of “fatter people.” It was always some super-fat woman in […]
11/22 - “Cancelling our date will require a 24 hours notice”
Saturday, November 22nd, 2008Not always necessary, but there are tactful ways to cancel a date within a 24 hour time period. Not that our personal lives always need to play by the same rules our dentists play by, but last minute cancellations are always a bummer.
In our high-tech world, people often use the Internet to make plans, whether it […]
11/21 - “Have they’ve tried this stunt yet?”
Friday, November 21st, 2008I think Evil Knievel’s dead, but I also remember seeing his son on TV doing the whole jumping over things on a motorcycle. What about jumping over like 150 homeless people on the ground packed tightly side by side like sardines?
Pay them for incentive. The farther from young Knievel’s jumping point, the more that homeless person gets paid.
11/20 - “Alaska t-shirt issues”
Thursday, November 20th, 2008I’ve never been to Alaska, but I can’t imagine there’s much worth checking out up there. I suppose the state could be somewhat scenic. As far as Alaska’s politics are concerned, I’m no expert, but the fact that convicted felon Ted Stevens nearly won a Senate election doesn’t speak too highly of the residents of Alaska. With […]
11/19 - “I’ll have my poke back now, please”
Wednesday, November 19th, 2008This is another one of those theories in which I’ve done no research in my attempt to prove. It’s just a feeling I have deep inside of me. I don’t watch all that much TV these days, and don’t particularly pay all that much attention to commercials. However, it doesn’t seem like that little Pillsbury […]
11/18 - “Props to late night hosts and their animal guests”
Tuesday, November 18th, 2008Carson, Letterman, and I’m sure a whole “host” (I couldn’t resist) of others have all had wild animals on as guests from time to time. Ranging from birds, to reptiles, to monkeys and wildcats, all of these creatures of nature had the option and opportunity to poop in/on a place normally reserved for Tom Cruise, or another A-List […]
11/17 - “Consequences for slow service”
Monday, November 17th, 2008I can try to avoid being too cliché by criticizing the lack of overall quality pizza and general slow food service in LA, but I figured out a way to get back at a local pizza place that has incredibly slow service.
During halftime of last Sunday’s Redskins/Cowboys game, me and a friend were waiting […]
11/16 - “Friend Power Rankings”
Sunday, November 16th, 2008Many sports websites like ESPN.com have a weekly feature in which they rank all NFL teams from 1 to 32. They indicate what each teams’ ranking was the previous week, and attach a sentence or two explaining why a team has either moved up, or down in the rankings.
For example:
#7 (last week #12)
New England Patriots […]
11/15 - “Another racist joke/Obama knows Bo”
Saturday, November 15th, 2008Me: Obama has a pretty nice jump shot.
Dave Wheeler: Yeah, he should try out for the NBA, and be like Bo Jackson…the last black person to have 2 jobs.
11/14 - “Black joke of the day”
Friday, November 14th, 2008Dave Wheeler: The Mets don’t sign black players.
Me: If the Mets don’t sign black players, why’d they put all those colored bathrooms in the clubhouse?
11/13 - “Idea for reality/game show”
Thursday, November 13th, 2008Celebrities fart from behind a curtain. Contestants have to guess who’s fart it is based on the odor.
“Hmmm. Smells like broccoli. I think I’ve heard that Jennifer Aniston’s a vegan, is it hers?
“Correct! You’ve made it to the lightning round!” (whatever that would consist of)
11/12 - “Coffee from everywhere”
Wednesday, November 12th, 2008Earlier today I made a pot of coffee at work, and looked closely at the packaging and the wording on it.
It was “French Roast Costa Rican Seattle Mountain Coffee, 100% Arabica.”
Where’d it really come from? Costco, lol.
11/11 - “Vote ignorantly for our Veterans”
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008Last week when I voted on Election Day, the California ballot had a bunch of measures. Many of them required me to make a decision as a citizen whether or not I was willing to have the government spend money on certain programs. Admittedly, while I did do some research before stepping into the booth, […]
11/10 - “Sensible rules and regulations for endzone celebrations”
Monday, November 10th, 2008Endzones celebrations are part of the game, and if players want to express their joy for the game, let them. If the other team doesn’t like it, they can just hit harder and play harder, and most importantly not allow so many touchdowns.
I think it oughta come down to the team’s rights. Why should the […]
11/9 - “Power of the buddy icon”
Sunday, November 9th, 2008For the most part I would never trust a politician. None. Never. Maybe this isn’t an entirely healthy attitude. Perhaps I should take into consideration that I don’t recall ever having met a politician, let alone having known one well.
Although yes, I did vote for Barack Obama, I never attended a rally, wore a t-shirt, or even […]
11/8 - “Interracial step sibling dating”
Saturday, November 8th, 2008Recently I saw a reality TV show that featured a rather large Brady Bunch-esque family. The mother and father both contributed their own kids to this new marriage. Both parents were white, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume that the cute Asian girl in the family was adopted.
It’s probably never a […]
11/7 - “Guilty pleasures”
Friday, November 7th, 2008I have mixed feelings about what defines a guily pleasure, and if such a concept really exists. Experiencing pleasure is a good thing, while feeling guilty about it is not. In this case, the pleasure typically comes first, then somehow you suffer for it later. A good example is fast food.
Listening to music (from the 1980’s) is not […]
11/5 - “The President and his nipples”
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008Our society is cool with topless men (society = a public pool). It’s just that we as a public don’t really ever need to see the President without his shirt on. It doesn’t matter if it’s Clinton, a Bush, Washington, or even Obama for that matter. Whether a President is fit or not isn’t even […]
11/4 - “Bozzz on sex and the voting process”
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008While I was waiting on the line to vote, I was texting Bozzz, and mentioned how some of girls there voting were deece. In fact, I was considering just hanging out outside the voting place all day. This way I could really find out just how many hot girls live in my neighborhood. PURE […]
11/3 - “Smoking, atmosphere, and people I wish didn’t exist”
Monday, November 3rd, 2008I smoke about 4 cigarettes a year. The smell of cigarettes sometimes bothers me, but usually not. Even though these carcinogens were probably created in Satan’s labratory, something about the odor makes for good atmosphere. To me, I don’t even think it has much to do with all these smoking bans being hyped up within […]
11/2 - “Offensive costume procedures, part II”
Sunday, November 2nd, 2008Over the weekend I attended a Halloween party that consisted of a good amount of Mexican-Americans.
Wikipedia says - ” Cholo is used for a person of Mexican background who wishes to present a tough, sometimes even gangster-like image.” I could see how the word Cholo could possibly be similar to the word nigger. Not exactly, but […]
11/1 - “Offensive costume procedures, part I”
Saturday, November 1st, 2008During “Halloween season,” I’m always curious as I observe what are the popular costumes for that particular year. In past years, Borat was a big one, whereas this year, I think remember coming across several Sarah Palin look-a-likes.
However, I don’t recall seeing that many Barack Obama costumes, if any at all. One Obama simply had […]