me: i stucky in bed. help me.
bozzz: you tied up?
me: glued. with elmers glue.
bozzz: guy named elmer glue you down? sexy.
me: yeah, he use elmer’s glue, not the brand though. he borrow glue from his friend who also is named elmer.
In the coming months and even years, I’ll likely be telling more and more Grandpa Sammy stories.
It must’ve been sometime in the late 1980’s or early 90’s — My grandpa parked the car across the street from a 7-11. With my sister and I (us kids) waiting in the car, Sammy asked us if we [...]
It’s one thing to be in a bar, and order Bailey’s or a drink that contains it, but to buy a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream at the liquor store has to be one of the most moronic actions any human can take.
You see, you are 100% paying for the brand name of Bailey’s. You [...]
Growing up I did have some white sneakers, but more often than not my sneakers had logos/designs on them. What I’m saying is that I’ve never really owned pure white sneakers.
My mom always told me, “White sneakers never stay clean.” Other times she was more straight forward, “You are a slob and you’ll never take [...]
Last night I asked my sister and Steve what they thought of the smell of Brut. My sister basically said I smell like a grandpa.
Steve said Brut is perfect for attracting girls with “daddy issues.”
I replied, “No. Grandaddy issues!”
Recently I dropped off my baseball glove at a shoe repair place. This inside of my glove had torn up leather, so I wanted to get a thin leather patch sewn up in there.
Anyway, I dropped the glove off, and the guy there said it would cost $65. Fine.
So about a week later I go [...]
Even a reasonably unrefined creature such as myself can acknowledge the uselessness of a 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner. Nobody likes those.
Epsom salt is a different story. It’s way more than a 2 in 1. When used through soaking it can soothe muscle pains. Drink it mixed in water you have a laxative for constipation relief. Those [...]
“You know you’re really hard to shop for.”
“I know. I’m hard to shop for.”
Those phrases above are clearly bullshit phrases. Nobody is really that hard to shop for. The reason for this is that EVERYONE likes getting gifts. Assuming you don’t give someone something they already have, or give them some cheap piece of shit, [...]
Funny how for women to own vibrators and dildos in today’s day and age is very much socially acceptable. I don’t have the numbers and facts in front of me, but I assume every girl owns some kinda personal device. In today’s Sex and The City world we live in, it’s [...]
It’s not all that uncommon for guys to do their laundry infrequently. In fact, many of us believe that the only essentials are really just clean underwear and clean socks. Guys who own 50 pairs of underwear and 50 pairs of socks tend to go months without doing laundry. Some of us [...]
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