Uncategorized
« Previous Entries Next Entries »10/22 - “In the morning straight, that night a cocksucker”
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008One more thought on Prop 8 (the proposition to overturn legalized gay marriage) on California’s upcoming ballot — I’ve seen both ads on TV for “Yes on 8”, as well as for “No on 8.”
Those in favor of yes seems to be playing up the whole “What if gay marriage is taught in school?” angle. […]
10/21 - “Them Orientals are gooder at the learning”
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008I often makes notes in my cell phone for future blog posts, and I recently made a note to myself to write something about McCain’s and Obama’s policies on education. My point was basically going to be something along the lines that in this country it’s not even so much whether vouchers, etc. versus public […]
10/20 - “You’d be fucked, Bambi”
Monday, October 20th, 2008I’ve never hit a deer or anything when I’ve been driving, but should this terrible event occur, I would have no idea what to do. This is especially true if the deer is merely injured, and not dead.
What do you do? Get out of the car? Give the deer CPR? Bandage up the animal? Who […]
10/19 - “I guess I’m on the SNL sucks bandwagon”
Sunday, October 19th, 2008“I used to watch that show, but now it sucks.” This is what pretty much everyone I talk to about Saturday Night Live says. Part of me has believed that that’s just the hip and trendy thing to say. Not that I’ve watched the show very much in recent years, but with some early baseball […]
10/18 - “Fun in the sun”
Saturday, October 18th, 2008I’ve decided that anybody who uses such a phrase ought to be executed. Well, perhaps not executed. Skin cancer offers more poetic justice.
10/17 - “Homeless will”
Friday, October 17th, 2008How do wills work for homeless people? I mean, I pretty much assume they all have some sort of shopping cart filled with belongings. When they die, where does all this stuff go? Do homeless people make out a formal will? I tend to doubt it.
Whether it’s one person inheriting the entire cart, or the urine-soaked blankets […]
10/16 - “Old school gay”
Thursday, October 16th, 2008With the upcoming California ballot having an important measure on it related to gay rights, I have some thoughts. Voting yes on measure 8 basically means you support overturning the right for same-sex couples to get married. Personally, I could care so little who marries who.
However, I think people have sort of lost sight that […]
10/15 - “The real ugliness behind Sarah Silverman’s political agenda”
Wednesday, October 15th, 2008You may have seen or heard about that story in which Sarah Silverman is encouraging young Jewish people to travel to the battleground state of Florida. She’s urging young Jews to get their undecided grandparents to vote for Obama. Sarah wants us to “schlep” to the Sunshine State.
I like Sarah, but she’s sort of trying […]
10/14 - “I want to be a turtle”
Tuesday, October 14th, 2008In the midst of a discussion with Karen in which we were doing some heavy analysis of what we hated most about humanity — in terms of the possibilities of becoming another creature, she mentioned becoming a “sponge” as her preference.
For me, I’d like to be one of those big turtles that lives to be […]
10/13 - “Cindy’s funny”
Monday, October 13th, 2008As many of you already know/don’t care, I’ve been battling a pretty bad cold/cough for the past week or so. Anyway, yesterday at work Cindy comes up to me and Chris and says to Chris, “I had a dream last night and you were in it.” I then asked her, “What about me?” Her response?
“No […]
10/12 - “I’ve known you 2 months, so now I’ll name my kid after you”
Sunday, October 12th, 2008Even as Jets fan, I have to criticize head coach Eric Mangini for naming his kid Brett, after Brett Favre. Although he only used “Brett,” as a middle name, the whole idea is purely ridiculous. First of all, it totally undermines the entire coach/quarterback relationship, and puts the quarterback on a pedestal above the […]
10/10 - “Beatings in Public(x)”
Friday, October 10th, 2008Eddie Murphy once said he goes to supermarkets just to watch mothers beat their kids. HOW ENTERTAINING. Maybe it’s just my imagination, or maybe I’m just talking out of my ass (I NEVER DO THAT), but this trend seems to be dying.
With the advent of places like Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods, these organic, natural, […]
10/8 - “Why don’t they call it that?”
Wednesday, October 8th, 2008You know, that weird spot behind your knee where your leg bends. Although, it’s not a place where pubic hair grows, it’s still a crevice where one sweats. You’re leg-pit!
10/7 - “How smart is my cat?”
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008Being sick today, I stayed home from work. I’m wondering what my cat was thinking. “What are you doing home on a weekday?” Does that cat know I’m sick, and understand the concept of sick days? Does the cat understand weekdays vs. weekends? MY CAT IS A GENIUS. SHE MIGHT.
10/6 - “Take this, avoid hangovers”
Monday, October 6th, 2008Such annoying products. Not that I’ve ever tried any of these pills, solutions, or whatever they are, but I’m skeptical. Why don’t the creators of such products focus on something more useful to humanity? I understand the market demand, and the right to make money, but to me such a product just isn’t a very […]
10/5 - “Not so fast”
Sunday, October 5th, 2008I remember several years ago having a conversation with someone about one of my favorite films of all time, Back to the Future. In the film, in order to travel through time, this Delorean must travel 88 MPH.
88 MPH? Honestly, it’s not really that fast. I mean, it’s fast enough to get ticketed, but […]
10/3 - “2-ply toilet paper: highly inefficient”
Friday, October 3rd, 2008When it comes to toilet paper, I’ve come to realize the importance of purchasing that of the “soft” variety. Other than that, I don’t really have much of a preference of type or brand.
It occured to me that 2-play toilet paper is very much a waste. I’M AN ENVIRONMENTALIST NOW. Think about it. Different bathroom activities […]
10/2 - “Really scared of getting killed by a train”
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008Pretty much every time I’m driving and about to go over some train tracks, I get nervous. I mean, even if the arm is up, what if it’s malfunctioning and there really is a train coming?
But Adam, wouldn’t you hear the train coming?
No, not necessarily, depending on the radio volume. What do you expect me […]
10/1 - “Sure, I’ll take my boots off…and smack you in the face with them”
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008Somehow I was recently able to walk into The Belmont (a fairly classy bar/restaurant) wearing shorts, flip-flops, and a white t-shirt. Yet, the other day we try to walk into The Happy Ending (a nothing post-collegy bar), and my friend received all sorts of grief for wearing “boots.”
YES, I know I am in LA, and […]
9/30 - “Gaseous unborn children”
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008With a co-worker of mine 7 months into her pregnancy, it’s possible that this is the most amount of time I’ve ever really been around a pregnant woman in my life. I HAVE QUESTIONS.
For example, if the mother is having some stomach pains, how does she know if she just has a stomach ache, or if it’s […]
9/29 - “Philosophy”
Monday, September 29th, 2008Bozzz: Time doesn’t exist.
Me: We can debate that.
Bozzz: I don’t have time to.
9/28 - “Best way to make weight…”
Sunday, September 28th, 2008…is by going on a tapeworm diet, right?
9/27 - “You know who I look like…”
Saturday, September 27th, 2008“You know who you remind me of…you look like that actor, whatshisname…” PEOPLE LOOK LIKE PEOPLE, yes.
Perhaps in your own life you’ve been repeatedly reminded that you look like a particular celebrity. That’s fine. However, anybody who just straight up tells you “I look like ___ “ is a complete egomaniac.
If throughout your life […]
9/25 - “All photos at once”
Thursday, September 25th, 2008Whether it’s at some sort of press conference, show, or any type of event, you’ll often be asked not to shoot photographs. Cameras might not even be allowed inside the venue. WHY NOT? Recently Dave went to some sort of Q&A with Spike Lee and Whoopi Goldberg. NO CAMERAS.
What is the friggin’ problem? All you […]
9/24 - “Fuck Pizza Hut and their trickery”
Wednesday, September 24th, 2008Pizza Hut is something I’ll eat maybe twice a year, and soon after consumption, I’ll experience incredible regret (internally). Anyway, you may or may not have seen these commercials they’re running on TV in which they replace “restaurant pasta” with that of Pizza Hut.
At one point a title pops up, “Actual Footage,” or something along […]