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« Previous Entries Next Entries »11/5 - “The President and his nipples”
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008Our society is cool with topless men (society = a public pool). It’s just that we as a public don’t really ever need to see the President without his shirt on. It doesn’t matter if it’s Clinton, a Bush, Washington, or even Obama for that matter. Whether a President is fit or not isn’t even […]
11/4 - “Bozzz on sex and the voting process”
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008While I was waiting on the line to vote, I was texting Bozzz, and mentioned how some of girls there voting were deece. In fact, I was considering just hanging out outside the voting place all day. This way I could really find out just how many hot girls live in my neighborhood. PURE […]
11/3 - “Smoking, atmosphere, and people I wish didn’t exist”
Monday, November 3rd, 2008I smoke about 4 cigarettes a year. The smell of cigarettes sometimes bothers me, but usually not. Even though these carcinogens were probably created in Satan’s labratory, something about the odor makes for good atmosphere. To me, I don’t even think it has much to do with all these smoking bans being hyped up within […]
11/2 - “Offensive costume procedures, part II”
Sunday, November 2nd, 2008Over the weekend I attended a Halloween party that consisted of a good amount of Mexican-Americans.
Wikipedia says - ” Cholo is used for a person of Mexican background who wishes to present a tough, sometimes even gangster-like image.” I could see how the word Cholo could possibly be similar to the word nigger. Not exactly, but […]
11/1 - “Offensive costume procedures, part I”
Saturday, November 1st, 2008During “Halloween season,” I’m always curious as I observe what are the popular costumes for that particular year. In past years, Borat was a big one, whereas this year, I think remember coming across several Sarah Palin look-a-likes.
However, I don’t recall seeing that many Barack Obama costumes, if any at all. One Obama simply had […]
10/31 - “That’s it, I’m voting for George W. Bush again”
Friday, October 31st, 2008Gas prices have suddenly gone down to a somewhat tolerable and respectable price. Even the 91 shit, which I never get, has fallen below $3 a gallon at many stations in the LA area.
So, with gas prices going down, let’s all do the sensible and logical thing on Tuesday —- vote for George Bush again!
JUST […]
10/30 - “Per gallon”
Thursday, October 30th, 2008This post probably would’ve been better off being written several months ago, but remember when several media outlets were talking about the price of milk versus the price of gas?
“Milk costs even more per gallon than gas now!” That’s what some rather intrigued individuals were exclaiming.
Who gives a shit? It’s apple and oranges — unless […]
10/29 - “Aww-worthy”
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008At work, at our weekly meetings we watch episodes of House Hunters together. Every time there is a quick image of a dog or puppy on the screen, the majority of my co-workers go, “awwwwwwww.” Like I said, it doesn’t matter if it’s a dog or puppy, canines always get the awwwwwww.
On the flip-side, nobody […]
10/28 - “Baked Cheetos!”
Tuesday, October 28th, 2008No idea if any of you peoples out there have tried ‘em, but if not, I highly recommend Baked Cheetos. Here’s the deal — Baked Lays we all know are fucking useless shit-tasting pieces of cardboard (compared to Original Lays potato chips).
However, regular Cheetos and Baked Cheetos are impressively similar in taste. In fact, I’m […]
10/27 - “Another Bozzz convo I just find”
Monday, October 27th, 2008Me: I eat cheese pizza and the read sports section of the LA times, and think about u.
Bozzz: Think about mealways.
Me: mealways?
Bozzz: meal ways
Me: Wtf are meal ways? Wtf is u talkin bout? You fugnut.
Bozzz: ME ALWAYS
Me: LOL
10/26 - “Ice cream man playlist”
Sunday, October 26th, 2008Jesus Christ, if you’re going to park your truck next to the baseball field for 3 hours, and are going to play a jingle, at least switch it up every so often. Why hasn’t ice cream truck technology seemed to evolve? Why do they play the same fucking jingles that were used in 1964? MAKE […]
10/25 - “Always leave the movies satisfied”
Saturday, October 25th, 2008With prices for movie tickets ridiculously high these days, after seeing something in the theater, your friend will often ask you, “How was the movie? Did you get your money’s worth?”
I asked Mike D. (‘Cuse Mike D. not baseball Mike D. or Beastie Boys Mike D.) if he had plans to see that “Role Models” […]
10/23 - “Maybe he didn’t know!”
Thursday, October 23rd, 2008According to Wikipedia, Ray Charles was married twice and fathered 12 children by 7 different women. Not a bad run at all. Some people might find those numbers staggering and perhaps even offensive — and irresponsible of Charles.
Not me. For one thing, promiscuity is almost as much part of the music business as the music […]
10/22 - “In the morning straight, that night a cocksucker”
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008One more thought on Prop 8 (the proposition to overturn legalized gay marriage) on California’s upcoming ballot — I’ve seen both ads on TV for “Yes on 8”, as well as for “No on 8.”
Those in favor of yes seems to be playing up the whole “What if gay marriage is taught in school?” angle. […]
10/21 - “Them Orientals are gooder at the learning”
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008I often makes notes in my cell phone for future blog posts, and I recently made a note to myself to write something about McCain’s and Obama’s policies on education. My point was basically going to be something along the lines that in this country it’s not even so much whether vouchers, etc. versus public […]
10/20 - “You’d be fucked, Bambi”
Monday, October 20th, 2008I’ve never hit a deer or anything when I’ve been driving, but should this terrible event occur, I would have no idea what to do. This is especially true if the deer is merely injured, and not dead.
What do you do? Get out of the car? Give the deer CPR? Bandage up the animal? Who […]
10/19 - “I guess I’m on the SNL sucks bandwagon”
Sunday, October 19th, 2008“I used to watch that show, but now it sucks.” This is what pretty much everyone I talk to about Saturday Night Live says. Part of me has believed that that’s just the hip and trendy thing to say. Not that I’ve watched the show very much in recent years, but with some early baseball […]
10/18 - “Fun in the sun”
Saturday, October 18th, 2008I’ve decided that anybody who uses such a phrase ought to be executed. Well, perhaps not executed. Skin cancer offers more poetic justice.
10/17 - “Homeless will”
Friday, October 17th, 2008How do wills work for homeless people? I mean, I pretty much assume they all have some sort of shopping cart filled with belongings. When they die, where does all this stuff go? Do homeless people make out a formal will? I tend to doubt it.
Whether it’s one person inheriting the entire cart, or the urine-soaked blankets […]
10/16 - “Old school gay”
Thursday, October 16th, 2008With the upcoming California ballot having an important measure on it related to gay rights, I have some thoughts. Voting yes on measure 8 basically means you support overturning the right for same-sex couples to get married. Personally, I could care so little who marries who.
However, I think people have sort of lost sight that […]
10/15 - “The real ugliness behind Sarah Silverman’s political agenda”
Wednesday, October 15th, 2008You may have seen or heard about that story in which Sarah Silverman is encouraging young Jewish people to travel to the battleground state of Florida. She’s urging young Jews to get their undecided grandparents to vote for Obama. Sarah wants us to “schlep” to the Sunshine State.
I like Sarah, but she’s sort of trying […]
10/14 - “I want to be a turtle”
Tuesday, October 14th, 2008In the midst of a discussion with Karen in which we were doing some heavy analysis of what we hated most about humanity — in terms of the possibilities of becoming another creature, she mentioned becoming a “sponge” as her preference.
For me, I’d like to be one of those big turtles that lives to be […]
10/13 - “Cindy’s funny”
Monday, October 13th, 2008As many of you already know/don’t care, I’ve been battling a pretty bad cold/cough for the past week or so. Anyway, yesterday at work Cindy comes up to me and Chris and says to Chris, “I had a dream last night and you were in it.” I then asked her, “What about me?” Her response?
“No […]
10/12 - “I’ve known you 2 months, so now I’ll name my kid after you”
Sunday, October 12th, 2008Even as Jets fan, I have to criticize head coach Eric Mangini for naming his kid Brett, after Brett Favre. Although he only used “Brett,” as a middle name, the whole idea is purely ridiculous. First of all, it totally undermines the entire coach/quarterback relationship, and puts the quarterback on a pedestal above the […]
10/10 - “Beatings in Public(x)”
Friday, October 10th, 2008Eddie Murphy once said he goes to supermarkets just to watch mothers beat their kids. HOW ENTERTAINING. Maybe it’s just my imagination, or maybe I’m just talking out of my ass (I NEVER DO THAT), but this trend seems to be dying.
With the advent of places like Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods, these organic, natural, […]